"I'm praying for you." Have you ever said this to someone, only to realize the next time you saw them that you didn’t pray for them? If so, you're not alone.

Prayer is central to our personal discipleship and it’s crucial to the effectiveness of our Life Group ministry. If we’re not dependent upon God and relying on his Holy Spirit to guide and direct us, we are powerless—like a grand prix engine without any gas in the tank.

So, if we are going to be effective prayer warriors, we are going to have to be very intentional about prayer. Here are some things that I do to try and keep me on track.

CHOOSE A TIME

Time is my most valuable commodity, but if I’m not aware of it, I will spend it flippantly. I have found that if I don’t designate a time for prayer, it will be squeezed out of a busy schedule. So, set aside a time for prayer each day. For me, the early morning works best. The house is typically quiet before my kids wake up and I can focus. I’m not much of a morning person so I’m usually tired, but I’m not nearly as tired as I am at the end of the day. That makes the trade-off worth it for me.

I also find that starting my day with prayer helps me see my day through a different perspective. If I’ve started my day praying for patience or peace, as I interact with people or begin to get overwhelmed, I’m able to reflect back on my early morning prayer. If I choose the evening for my daily prayer, I’m usually regretful about how I behaved throughout the course of my day. Morning prayer helps me to be proactive, not reactive.

Mark 1:35-37 tells us that Jesus used the early morning to pray. And though the bible doesn’t always say when he prayed, it mentions morning prayer in many different places (Ps. 5:3; Ps. 30:5; Ps. 88:13; Ps. 90:14; Ps. 143:8; Isa. 26:9; Isa. 50:4; Job 1:1-22) was probably not a one-time occurrence.

CHOOSE A SPACE

I don’t have a home office yet, but I plan to have one setup in the future. Until then, the kitchen table is my space for prayer. The fact that it’s near the coffee maker helps. I like that it’s by the window so I can see the sun peaking up over the horizon as I pray. It’s comfortable, and it’s clean (usually). It’s also try to keep it free of other distractions that might send me down a rabbit hole like my phone, or any unfinished work from the day before. These things are constantly begging my attention, so I need to be far from them to focus.

Jesus didn’t have a place to lay his head (Matt. 8:20), but that didn’t stop him from choosing a space. He often withdrew to find a quiet place away from his disciples where he could focus his attention on the Lord (Matt. 14:23; Mat. 26:39; Luke 6:12; Luke 5:15-16; Luke 9:28)

CHOOSE A METHOD

I try my best to keep my prayer need list in one place and for me, my notebook works best. It’s tempting to use my phone for my prayer list, but if I open my phone, I’m tempted to check my email or Facebook and then I’m doomed to distraction. I can also easily make notes and updates in my notebook to document any updates on prayer. However, a device may work for you, just try to centralize it so your list is not scattered all over. Make a prayer list and keep it in one place.

I also like to use an acronym to help focus my prayer. I use the ACTS method to organize my thoughts:

A - Adoration (praising God for all of his attributes)
C - Confession (confessing my sin and need for the Savior)
T - Thanksgiving (thanking God for all my blessings)
S - Supplication (asking God to meet my/our needs)

This method keeps it short and sweet for me. When I get to the supplication portion of my prayer, I simply refer to my list and pray through the things I’ve written down. Some of those prayers may have been answered so I can give thanks during the thanksgiving portion.

There are many different methods of prayer, you don’t have to just use this one. It’s not about being legalistic. In fact, you don’t have to use a method at all. It’s not about being legalistic, for even Jesus gave us an example of how to pray in Matthew 6:5-14. So, I find this acronym helps me stay on task. Choose one that works for you and try to stick with it.

BE SPECIFIC

I realized a while back that my prayers were very generic. So much so, it was hard for me to recognize when/if God was answering them. The bible tells us to approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Heb. 4:16). Make no mistake, God answers generic prayers, but the answers are harder for us to see. Specific prayers demand an extra level of trust, but when we see answers, we can be assured he answered them.

One of our members requested that we pray for a translator to help interpret for a family coming to the US for a pediatric heart surgery. This particular language was very hard to find a translator for—in fact there were only a few in the country. We prayed specifically for that language and within the day, a translator had been located here in Houston. Praise God! We knew he was the only one who could’ve made that happen.

FOLLOW UP

Since you have a list, and you have set aside the time, follow up with the people you are praying for. This reassure them that you are indeed praying for them. It will also help give you more specific ways to pray for them if the situation has changed. If the prayer has already been answered, it will give you something new to thank God for. So follow up with the people on your list!

WHAT METHOD WORKS FOR YOU?

Let’s be a people committed to prayer, so that when we say we are going to pray for someone we mean it. These methods can help make certain that we will. I’d be interested to hear what methods work best for you? What are the things you do to help you stay consistent? Do you use an acronym? Let me know in the comments below.

So what are the core characteristics of a vibrant group? Over the years of being a part of groups, I’ve found that three qualities were evident in my most vibrant small groups. Now, you can add to this list, but you can't reduce it without harming the group. Over the next three weeks, I’ll be discussing these essential ingredients that with the help of the Holy Spirit will bring your group to life. These three words don’t just describe a vibrant Life Group, they are ACTIONS of a vibrant Life Group.

CONNECTING

The first pattern of a healthy group is the relational pattern. You have to build a relational bridge strong enough to hold the weight of truth. When we tell people about small groups, we almost always tout the relationships that they can form through the group. And it's true: great relationships can be formed in and through small groups. But then during small-group meetings, we tend to focus on other aspects—like study and prayer—and hope that the relationships will figure themselves out. Unfortunately, though, without giving some intentional attention to developing and maintaining real relationships, they probably won't happen. And without deepening relationships, there probably won't be much spiritual growth either.

Not Everyone Will Be Best Friends

It's unrealistic to expect that everyone in the group will form equally deep and meaningful relationships with every other person in the group. Instead, we need to have a proper understanding of how relationships really work in small groups, and we need to avoid becoming bogged down by unrealistic expectations.

Some leaders think they’ve failed if not everyone becomes best friends. This is a false expectation!

Every group has a unique personality because of the different personalities of the people involved. Some groups will connect more than others; they may even develop close friendships and do so quickly. Other groups will never reach this level of intimacy. But that doesn't mean the group failed to connect.

In group life, "connecting" refers to developing a growing relationship with a specific group of people. That means different groups will connect at varying levels of depth. Some groups will connect through intimate friendships. Others will connect by simply showing up each week. It's good for a leader to carry hopes to have a group of close friendships. But a leader should also celebrate if they simply have a group that keeps showing up!

Trust Is a Vital Ingredient

Whatever level of connection and friendship develops in your group, trust will play a part in solidifying those relationships.

While not everyone in a small group will become best friends, it's crucial that Life Group participants establish a strong trust with one another. This trust must be established early within a group's existence. Although trust will take time to grow, plant the seed immediately.

Here are two easy ways you can begin to establish and build your group's trust level:

Establish a "come as you are" environment. Let people know they can be genuine.
Have your group commit to the following statement: "What is said in the group stays in the group." Nothing destroys trust faster than gossip.

Once you have established trust within your group, guard it well. Trust always determines the health of a group, and relationships will only develop if trust is present.

Have you established a level of trust in your small group? How can you deepen that trust?
What expectations have you had about the relationships in your group? Are they realistic expectations?
What can you celebrate about the relationships in your group? In what ways is there room for growth?

Keep Your Promise to Pray