Three Characteristics of a Vibrant Life Group: Part 2

In my last post, I discussed the importance of CONNECTING as an important characteristic in a vital Life Group. As crucial is it is, it’s not enough for Life Groups to just connect people with one another. There is another important quality that our groups must possess.

The second key characteristic of a healthy group is change.

My dad used to say, “Most people assume they will only have to change once.” The truth is, that change is a constant process—and it should be welcomed in the life of a disciple of Jesus. Some call it edification or sanctification or transformation, but at the end of the day, it's change. A vibrant group helps you change into the person God intends you to be.

Characteristic #2: CHANGING

Research shows that people "who attend a group at least four times a month show a significantly higher score in every area of discipleship compared with those who do not attend." In fact, "people in groups are more likely to share their faith, repent of sins regularly, give sacrificially, serve faithfully, and read their Bibles." (Transformational Groups, Stetzer and Geiger). That means that while our groups might not be accomplishing all we had hoped, they are still accomplishing a lot. We can celebrate the fact that God is using groups to create people who look more and more like Christ.

We can benefit from seeing how Jesus led his small group of disciples. So often we focus on all the amazing things they did together—things we feel we could never accomplish with our groups. Stetzer and Geiger explain:

Transformation is a communal experience, not an individual exercise. Jesus, God on earth, understood this fact. His model of disciple making must be ours. Jesus chose twelve, a small group. The synergy that occurred in that group of twelve aided greatly in the process of making these men mature disciples. The conversations they engaged in, the time they served Rabbi Jesus together, the processing of Jesus' teachings around a campfire, even the missteps these men shared were all in Jesus' plan for making them into the mature disciples He needed them to be. Doing life together is an unquestionable essential in the disciple-making process.

Hearing truth is one part of change, but connecting in biblical community reinforces and can encourage change. But be careful that your group is not encouraging the wrong things! Rather than seeing the group as a place to care for others, serve, and learn together, most group members see the group's primary function as serving their needs. Complacency is the enemy of change!

Complacency is the enemy of change!

A consumeristic mindset is dangerous in group life. If we’re not diligent, we as leaders may be the reason group members approach groups this way. The way we communicate about the purpose of groups directly impacts what group members expect when they join. CFCC Life Group members should expect change!

Simple things you can do to develop the changing pattern in your group:

• Study the Bible for application. Answer the question, "So what do we do with this?"

• Invite each member to share areas they are trying to improve and offer accountability.

• Create a judgment-free zone where members can share what's going on without feeling judged by the group (or feeling like a special project).

• Keep the focus on Jesus Christ who gives us the strength to change.

Three Characteristics of a Vibrant Life Group: Part 1

So what are the core characteristics of a vibrant group? Over the years of being a part of groups, I’ve found that three qualities were evident in my most vibrant small groups. Now, you can add to this list, but you can't reduce it without harming the group. Over the next three weeks, I’ll be discussing these essential ingredients that with the help of the Holy Spirit will bring your group to life. These three words don’t just describe a vibrant Life Group, they are ACTIONS of a vibrant Life Group.

CONNECTING

The first pattern of a healthy group is the relational pattern. You have to build a relational bridge strong enough to hold the weight of truth. When we tell people about small groups, we almost always tout the relationships that they can form through the group. And it's true: great relationships can be formed in and through small groups. But then during small-group meetings, we tend to focus on other aspects—like study and prayer—and hope that the relationships will figure themselves out. Unfortunately, though, without giving some intentional attention to developing and maintaining real relationships, they probably won't happen. And without deepening relationships, there probably won't be much spiritual growth either.

Not Everyone Will Be Best Friends

It's unrealistic to expect that everyone in the group will form equally deep and meaningful relationships with every other person in the group. Instead, we need to have a proper understanding of how relationships really work in small groups, and we need to avoid becoming bogged down by unrealistic expectations.

Some leaders think they’ve failed if not everyone becomes best friends. This is a false expectation!

Every group has a unique personality because of the different personalities of the people involved. Some groups will connect more than others; they may even develop close friendships and do so quickly. Other groups will never reach this level of intimacy. But that doesn't mean the group failed to connect.

In group life, "connecting" refers to developing a growing relationship with a specific group of people. That means different groups will connect at varying levels of depth. Some groups will connect through intimate friendships. Others will connect by simply showing up each week. It's good for a leader to carry hopes to have a group of close friendships. But a leader should also celebrate if they simply have a group that keeps showing up!

Trust Is a Vital Ingredient

Whatever level of connection and friendship develops in your group, trust will play a part in solidifying those relationships.

While not everyone in a small group will become best friends, it's crucial that Life Group participants establish a strong trust with one another. This trust must be established early within a group's existence. Although trust will take time to grow, plant the seed immediately.

Here are two easy ways you can begin to establish and build your group's trust level:

1. Establish a "come as you are" environment. Let people know they can be genuine.

2. Have your group commit to the following statement: "What is said in the group stays in the group." Nothing destroys trust faster than gossip.

Once you have established trust within your group, guard it well. Trust always determines the health of a group, and relationships will only develop if trust is present.

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1. Have you established a level of trust in your small group? How can you deepen that trust?

2. What expectations have you had about the relationships in your group? Are they realistic expectations?

3. What can you celebrate about the relationships in your group? In what ways is there room for growth?